The scale said 164.6 this morning. That’s great news, I lost weight! And yet I’m disappointed that it wasn’t more. All logic tells me that this is a good amount and often times the second week yields less weight as the body adjusts and you didn’t put it on in a week and blah blah blah. I just want the weight to come off and to come off really fast! Okay, that’s my tantrum and now I’m going to choose to focus on the good part, I lost 1.4 pounds in a week!
So for the nuts and bolts of this second week, exercise has been excellent! I pretty much love to exercise and so this is easy for me. I hiked or walked outside every day. Getting outside is good for me, to get my head clear and to just be mindful and grateful and breath! I also did Pilates five days this week.
Food was pretty good for me this week, maybe 90-95% ETL. I made a big pot of Elisha’s Best-Ever Lentil Soup (and by the way it is the Best-Ever!) on Friday and ate it for dinner the next several days. Monday for dinner I made fajitas: lots of grilled veggies, black beans, with lettuce and tomato on top using whole grain tortilla. Tuesday I made a pot of soup with cannellini beans, broccoli and lots of other veggies. Salads every evening as well. Lunches were my regular smoothie loaded with spinach, kale, berries, banana, and chia and flax seed. I know we’re not supposed to snack, but since I don’t eat until noon every day and want to stop eating by 7:00pm at the latest AND I need to get in all my veggies, I am having a mid-afternoon meal/snack of lots of fresh veggies, carrots, celery, tomatoes, peppers with a few almonds or pecans.
Couple things that weren’t ETL: Hubby and I went out to lunch. It was Mexican food and I was able to eat moderately okay except that I did eat chips and salsa which is not ETL! The main course was better, grilled veggies with black beans. I have to admit that I can’t/won’t/don’t want to give up going out to lunch with my husband. We generally go on Saturdays and it’s a special time for us to relax, catch up and just talk without any interruptions. I’ll do my best to plan ahead and keep on track. The other off plan thing was I also had a drink Saturday night, vodka and sparkling water.
Thankfully I haven’t had much detox. I was already eating probably 80% ETL before starting, but I did catch myself yelling at my husband for absolutely no reason! I usually don’t do that and then felt guilty. Anger and guilt are two big triggers for me! I want to eat crunchy and salty stuff to stuff or numb the feelings. I caught myself and stopped yelling at him and although I wanted to eat I remembered something someone else on the Accountability page (Sunny?) said: Oh right I don’t do that anymore and I was able to get a handle on the feelings and not eat. I apologized to by husband and brushed my teeth and went to bed early.
So much of weight loss and eating is mental. Noticing my triggers and not acting on them is critical for me. I’ve been working on it this week and noticed I have another big one. I find things I need to go to the store for, something that can’t wait till the weekly shopping trip, and while at the store I buy junk food to eat too! I know I don’t really need whatever it is and I’m only going to the store so I can go get junk food. One time this week I was actually already at the parking lot of the grocery store and I was literally planning what to purchase and was thinking of things like chips and crackers. I had one of those conversations with myself and decided I wouldn’t go in after-all, it was too dangerous! People who saw me talking in the car to myself probably thought I was crazy!! Oh well, I didn’t go off plan so good for me!
I’m posting pictures this week of me doing Pilates. Partly because I love Pilates, but mostly because I don’t like the way I look in these pictures! I’m embarrassed about how I look and I’m embarrassed that I’m embarrassed! I’m trying to learn to love myself and accept myself and be grateful that I have an amazing body that can do Pilates and hike and has already lost over 100 pounds. But I also wish I was just already back at goal. Clearly love and acceptance are a process as well!