I can’t ever recall a time in my life that I was satisfied with my weight and my body. I grew up surrounded by yo-yo dieters who despised their bodies and inevitably I fell into the same cycle as a teenager, and I have been riding the vicious roller-coaster ever since. Now, with four children including a young daughter, I know I need to break the cycle so she never endures the hideous relationship I have with food and my body. Food has been my emotional comfort and my punishment. I can binge and I can starve to heal pain and hope for healing, but something has to change. And if I don’t step up and be the change I want to see, my daughter is destined to walk the same miserable, self-loathing path. I don’t want that for her, and I don’t want to continue this path for myself.
I have been jumping in and out of plant based eating for a few years now after a lot of research to find a way to heal my relationship with food, reach my ideal weight and teach my children how to live a sustainable, healthy lifestyle. After reading many books, including Dr Fuhrman’s, the Eat to Live lifestyle was a very clear and simple solution – actually the only solution I believe. But somehow I haven’t been able to fully commit, and I’ve done my usual self-sabotage every step of the way each time I’ve tried to make it stick. I am excited yet terrified to take part in this ETL Jumpstart Challenge. Excited that to know that this decision to put myself out there and be accountable not only to myself, but to all of the people watching this journey, will be a defining moment in my life. And terrified to know that so many eyes are upon me as I share my vulnerabilities so openly and honestly. Before today, I would do anything in my power to hide away from a spotlight. So here I am, taking my first step toward being the change!
My main goal is to make the ETL lifestyle my daily habit – my only way of eating – and to fall in love with the feeling of nourishing my body and loving myself from the inside out. From there, my goals are to be the healthy example to my children, lose weight, find my ankles again, heal a few aches and pains and to free myself and my family of the burden and the damage my self-loathing has on us. Let the journey begin… Nikki xx